4 ✎ puppies

[watsonyourmind]

[ Jane is sharing this list with the network. Perhaps they can help her make a decision. ]

Getting a Dog: Pros and Cons

Pros
1. Dogs are great companions.
2. It would be kind to take in a stray.
3. Pets lower your blood pressure.
4. I want one.
5. It will teach Shirley responsibility. And structure.

Cons
1. If we leave, the dog will still be here, all alone.
2. I would miss the dog if we left it here.
3. We live in a hotel room. Dogs need space.
4. It may be a crazy magic dog or something. (Note to self: make sure dog isn't really a man.)

Yeah, I still don't know if this is a good idea.

Comments

[element_wizard]

6. They're not cats.

[watsonyourmind]

Cats are okay, but they're never as much fun as dogs, I think.

[element_wizard]

I don't like cats, but then again, I'm highly allergic.

[watsonyourmind]

Allergic as in sneezing, or as in your throat closing up?

[ Good thing to know. ]

[element_wizard]

Generally sneezing. Lots of sneezing.

[watsonyourmind]

So do you have any pets?

[element_wizard]

I have a fire-lizard. He's around somewhere.

[He comes and goes as the plot demands.]

[watsonyourmind]

No fur at all, that makes sense. What's the fire part? Is he like a tiny dragon?

[element_wizard]

Yes. He's from a planet called... well the colonists there call it Pern. He's one of the native inhabitants. Small dragon, about the length of my arm from nose to tail tip. He requires a special stone that does something chemically for him to breathe fire though.

[Yes. Alec has a fire-lizard from the Dragonriders of Pern series. Shut up.]

[sobered]

What sort of dog would you look for?

[watsonyourmind]

I always wanted a bulldog. But I've never lived anywhere where I could keep one.

[sobered]

Do they have dogs around here?

[watsonyourmind]

If no, that would definitely go into the con list.

I think I've seen a few strays here and there. Unless they were really small wolves. Or people pretending to be dogs.

[sobered]

Both of which are apparently very possible here.

I hope there are. Dogs make good companions.

[watsonyourmind]

Yeah, unfortunately. You might want to keep your eye out for oddly tame foxes and the like.

I've always been a dog person. There's something about their happiness that's totally contagious.

[sobered]

The fox I've already met, so I don't think that will fool me. There are others?

They do seem to be good animals.

[watsonyourmind]

I don't actually _know_ of any other ones, but I figure that where there's one, there might be others.

Do you have any pets?

[nopolicelikeholmes]

There are so many things wrong with this list. You're clearly too biased in favor of getting a dog to think over the question logically.

Here is my list, which you will find is much more exhaustive:

Pros
1. Dogs are great companions.
2. I'm not allergic to them.
3. Jane wants one badly enough that she's apparently willing to use me as an excuse. (Very low, Jane.)
4. Maybe we could train it as a tracking dog?
5. I go outside several times a day anyway, so walking it would be no big deal.

Cons
1. Training is a long and arduous process, and all dogs need training of some sort.
2. It's all fun and games until someone poops on the carpet and shreds the pillows and we get kicked out.
3. Dogs get up to all kinds of shenanigans the minute you turn your back, just to see if they can get away with it. (See point #2) My roommate can barely deal with my sorts of shenanigans, and I don't even try to eat out of the trashcan.
4. Food and toys cost money.
5. We live in a hotel room.
6. The above two points exist because we're too poor to support ourselves, let alone another living being. The adult thing to do would be to save up for a decent place to live and then discuss pets.

[watsonyourmind]

Your list isn't more exhaustive. It's more pessimistic.

[nopolicelikeholmes]

No, it's more realistic. Pessimistic would be this:

7. There is a non-zero probability that any stray dog we pick up will turn out to be a three-headed hellhound.

[watsonyourmind]

I think I could identify if a dog had three heads.

[nopolicelikeholmes]

No, a three-headed hellhound would have to be born with only one head, or else it couldn't be pushed through its mother's birth canal. It must grow the other two sometime around doggie puberty, as being able to eat faster will guarantee that it gets more food to support its growth spurts.

Which reminds me:

8. We have to fix this hypothetical dog, because
9. If at any point in my life I find a penis being thrust in my face I cannot be held responsible for any actions I may subsequently take.

[watsonyourmind]

Are you trying to logic a dog with three heads?

... [ Dogs. Fixed or not, somehow Jane thinks that this is a possibility. ] It could be a girl dog.

[nopolicelikeholmes]

Yes, and it's not working very well.

[ It's more of a possibility than Shirley is letting on, that's for sure. ]

That would be a good way to resolve the phallic issue.

[watsonyourmind]

A small girl dog, even.