Network post - audio

[manofiron]

[ Ordinary people might at least introduce themselves when making their first public address to whoever's out there on the other end of an unfamiliar network. Not Tony. In lieu of an introduction, or anything approaching a greeting, he says only this: ]

Okay. Seriously. What do you people do for fun around here?

[ The quiet sound of a sigh can be heard, followed by an under the breath mutter. ]

This place is killing me.

Comments

[manofiron]

We talking killer monkeys from outer space? Or the Planet of the Apes variety?

[element_wizard]

Ragamuffin monkeys. They're like rag dolls, but monkeys. And they're vicious blood suckers that try to eat your soul.

I found some in a tree 'round here. Been throwing bananas at them and generally frustrating them since they keep on trying to steal my soul but it's not there.

[manofiron]

Either you're drunk or you're talking about something indigenous to this Blueberry place. Which probably amounts to roughly the same thing, given what I've seen here and of drunk people everywhere.

So okay, sure. Where's the bloodsucking monkey tree?

[element_wizard]

Nah. Not drunk.

It's just on the edges of town by the bookstore.

[manofiron]

And everybody's okay with that? Or is it a handy excuse to avoid paying the library a visit?

[element_wizard]

I'm not a hundred percent sure that they're not blood sucking monkeys. This is just what they're telling me.

Also, they'll vanish in a couple of hours.

[manofiron]

They who?

[element_wizard]

The tree with the monkeys.

[Keep up.]

[manofiron]

Which one's doing the talking? The tree or the monkeys?

[element_wizard]

The monkeys.

Trees can't talk.

[There's a pause.]

Okay. That's a lie. There are trees that can talk. But this one can't.

I met a guy once who fell out of a tree when it talked to him, he was so surprised. It turned out the tree was delusional and thought it could talk.

[Alec's life is weird.]

[manofiron]

Okay, I'm going to reevaluate my previous assessment. You're not drunk. You're high.

Very, very high.

[element_wizard]

I'm not the one who had the conversation with the delusional tree. I just talked to the guy.

And I'm not high. My life is really just that weird.

[manofiron]

Mine's not exactly normal either. I just don't, you know, talk to monkey trees in my spare time.

[element_wizard]

[Audible sigh.]

I'm not talking to the tree. I'm talking to the monkeys in the tree. This tree can't talk.

[manofiron]

Monkeys can't talk either. Not unless it's Caesar or Doctor Zaius or Cornelius or something equally rise of the apes.

[element_wizard]

Because you've gone to every single possible world and learned that yes, monkeys don't talk.

You might as well say the Norse gods don't exist.

[There's a hint of mischief in his eyes as he says that.]

[manofiron]

[ That prompts a snort. ]

As such, no, they don't. As backwards space aliens with Shakespearean proclivities, yes. Yes, they do.

[element_wizard]

I always thought of them more as on a separate dimension personally.

Also, I like the juxtaposition of space aliens with backwards.

[manofiron]

You ever meet Thor, you'll see what I mean. Guy's still adjusting the wonderful world of electricity.

[element_wizard]

It all depends on your view of societal norms.

I know where I grew up we didn't exactly have a concept of electricity however we did have indoor lighting. We just used magic instead. Does that make us backwards or just used replacement?

[manofiron]

You do magic? That's what you're saying. Magic's a thing for you?

[element_wizard]

Yes. It's very much a thing for me.

[manofiron]

Real magic? Or pseudoscience magic?

[element_wizard]

[There's a pause as he thinks about that one for a moment.]

What's your definition of real magic vs pseudoscience magic?

[manofiron]

Magic that's only magic because our technology isn't there yet. That's how I'd define pseudoscience magic. Real magic? I don't know, I've never seen it. I guess that sort of crap the fairy tales tell us exists. That'd be more convincing as real magic.